Writers get no respect!
[Warning: This post has nothing to do with the apparently almost over WGA strike. But we do still support that cause and look forward to production resuming on Lost.]
So there I was today, literally minding my own business scrolling through the Division18.com web statistics, when I saw a perfect three-way split in our Web Search Criteria Report.
Anyone with a website knows this is always a fun list to read, between the self-satisfaction you can get from seeing that people are actually looking for you or your work and the unintentional comedy of the handful of quirky search results that occasionally accidentally direct random surfers to the site. But self-satisfaction is always the best part for me. The self-high five can be a wonderful thing and I do love patting myself on the back. So you can imagine my disappointment when it sunk in that this perfectly distributed list of only three search items comprised the following:
1. “D18 Jeremy” – This is certainly not the problem. Jeremy is a workhorse and he deserves far more credit than do for the comic. And it’s nice to see our hip, branded abbreviation for the comic title, D18, is catching on. Matt’s mood: not disappointed yet.
2. “Division 18″ — This one is a no brainer. I would be shocked if this wasn’t on the search list. Matt’s mood: still doing fine.
3. “Huge Vag!na” — Note the exclamation point in place of the letter i is there now because we’d rather avoid a ton of traffic from sex sites, gynocologists, and itchy women. But this is it. Three of three on this month’s search list. Are you effin’ kidding me, people?! I was happy when you searched for the artist. I was thrilled when you searched for the book itself. But then, instead of googling yours truly JUST ONCE, you all got sidetracked trying to satisfy your sick fetish for super-sized babymakers?! Well hear this perverts — Division 18: The Union of Novelty Costumed Performers is not, has never been, and (unless sales really take a dive) will never be about giant lady parts.
Hrmph. Matt Bergin < Huge Vag!na? Thanks fer nuthin’, so-called fanbase! Of course, in my defense, the list was evenly distributed… so that means Jeremy Donelson = Huge Vag!na.
Matt’s mood: WTF?!
In a related note, I guess I ought to go bone up on my skills so I can garner more respect. I’ll start by checking out D18 publisher Christian Beranek’s brand new blog — What It Takes To Make It In Comics.
Always plugging.
February 4th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Actually, in the old jam comic, I am pretty sure you yourself put in a a 50′ naked woman running around after Captain Flatula’s matter transmodurifcator went haywire and mutated the Earth’s population randomly.
50′ of babe can dilate quite a bit during labor, I hear.
February 5th, 2008 at 11:02 am
I for one am sure that the only reason i even knew about you guys was because i too was minding my own business, searching for porn on the internet when your website just turned up on the search engine… i lost my… anyway, decided to check it out. It’s times like these when i think that we should clean up the internet and give room for good old fashioned porn sites.
February 6th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
This might also be a good time to remind you that the whole reason you suggested that I check out “The Filth” trade was for the giant, womb-shattering sperm.
Womb shattering, Matt. You even put it on a separate line just like that.